1999 Standings (Week Seven)

Statistics provided by Pavelich Sports Bureau

ALL-AMERICAN       Overall              Division   
Blue               W    L    T    PCT.    W    L    T    PCT.  PF   PA
Psychedelic B's     6    1    0   .857     3    0    0  1.000  664  480
Captain Tripps      4    3    0   .571     2    1    0   .667  494  508  
Midnight Vigilantes 3    4    0   .429     1    2    0   .333  479  501
No Limit Ballers    2    5    0   .286     0    3    0   .000  464  549    

Red                W    L    T    PCT.    W    L    T    PCT.  PF   PA
LTP                 5    2    0   .714     3    0    0  1.000  564  509
Masons              5    2    0   .714     1    2    0   .333  553  432  
Gargoyles           4    3    0   .571     2    1    0   .667  580  495
Butt Chows          1    6    0   .143     0    3    0   .000  383  510

White              W    L    T    PCT.    W    L    T    PCT.  PF   PA
Polish Monarchs     4    3    0   .571     1    2    0   .333  465  493
P.P. Brains         3    4    0   .429     2    1    0   .667  457  471  
Couch Potatoes      3    4    0   .429     2    1    0   .667  414  416
Cosmic Monsters     2    5    0   .286     1    2    0   .333  406  529

BROWNS             Overall              Division   
Brown              W    L    T    PCT.    W    L    T    PCT.  PF   PA
Atomic Punks        6    1    0   .857     2    1    0   .667  615  499
Shadow Bandits      5    2    0   .714     2    1    0   .667  559  491
Donikers-DTL        4    3    0   .571     0    3    0   .000  609  505
King Salmons        3    4    0   .429     2    1    0   .667  485  543    

Orange             W    L    T    PCT.    W    L    T    PCT.  PF   PA
Morticians          5    2    0   .714     3    0    0  1.000  539  484
Hostile Omish       5    2    0   .714     2    1    0   .667  614  472  
Mad Zippers         2    5    0   .286     1    2    0   .333  323  469
Bonecrushers        2    5    0   .286     0    3    0   .000  416  528    

White              W    L    T    PCT.    W    L    T    PCT.  PF   PA
Black Diamond       3    4    0   .429     2    1    0   .667  480  562  
Screaming Eagles    3    4    0   .429     2    1    0   .667  471  490
Fat Bottom Girls    2    5    0   .286     1    2    0   .333  475  465
Assassins           2    5    0   .286     1    2    0   .333  440  512

Week Seven High Scoring Teams

Shadow Bandits (Paul Labonte) 107 Points	Gargoyles (Storm Thomas) 106 Points

"You gotta' fear a coach that can drop half his team and still stay competitive.""
Gargoyles GM Storm Thomas, commenting on the fact that his opponent Kirk Pavelich made seven roster changes heading into last week's game. Despite the changes, Pavelich's Midnight Vigilantes won 83-34.

"I looked up the definition of Vigilantes....it said, "one of an unauthorized group organized professedly to keep order and punish crime." I was wondering how this group could keep ORDER since it is a totally different group every week. I am not sure that I have ever seen in all my years of fantasy football, someone just completely overhaul their entire team like Pavelich did in week seven. Is that a true sign of a weak draft?""
LTP owner Don Jones commenting on the hectic night of transactions by Pavelich's Midnight Vigilantes.

"Whatever comment Keith makes this week about beating my team is nullified by the fact that my team would have kicked his team's ass this week."
Thomas' weekly comment for Atomic Punks owner Keith Kuratko. Had they played in Week 7, Thomas' Gargoyles would have defeated Kuratko's Punks 106-94.

"By time this season is over with I'll have more bitches than a frickin' animal shelter."
Assassins GM Rob Pesicka after his squad rolled to its second victory of the season, 95-62 over Dave Mortland's Morticians. Pesicka has made the prediction that his squad will win six of its final seven games.

"Note to White Division: Black Diamond - I've only won twice, and you're one of them (what does that say about you?)... Fat Bottom Girls - Maybe you should start picking up NHL players instead. They would probably score more points. Plus, then at least your players will have cool French names... Screaming Eagles - Maybe you should change yer name to the "Crying Pigeons." You talk about a repeat victory over me in week 12. I haven't heard of you parting the Red Sea lately, so I guess it's pretty safe to rule out any other miracles in the near future."
Pesicka again, referring to his division, one in which no team is playing .500 ball.

"Umm.. Atomic Punks? You guys might as well drop that STUPID nuclear prefix from your name, 'cause come week nine you won't need it. That's all your team will be ....punks! You will then know who is the most electrifing general manager in the HISTORY of fantasy football!"
Pesicka's comments toward Kuratko and his Punks, the alleged "team to beat" in the Browns Conference.

"Nice trade Ski."
Cosmic Monsters GM Brad Rzyczycki after learning that Polish Monarchs owner Mike Szydlowski had traded RB Dorsey Levens and WR Keenan McCardell to Pavelich's Midnight Vigilantes for RB James Stewart and WR Germanne Crowell.

"I'm sick of these guys crying about none of us doing anything to stop the Psychedelic B's. Did anyone really think that Stephen Davis was going to break OJ Simpson's rushing record? Kurt Warner's a great story but did anyone think he was the second coming of Joe Montana?"
Masons GM John Thiem's response to Browns Conference criticism that owners in the All-American Conference were sitting idly by as Bryan Vince and his Psychedelic B's raced to the conference championship. Vince's squad dropped its first game of the season this week, 66-62 to Jody Barth's Couch Potatoes.

"F@&*! Can't wait until next year."
Morticians GM Dave Mortland regarding the trade that sent Tim Brown to the Assassins for Warrick Dunn and Adrian Murrell.

"Hey Morticians: Thanks for Tim Brown, better luck next year! P.S. Send my regards to Dunn for me."
Response by Assassins GM Pesicka.

"Am I adding things up right? Did Vince lose this week to the Couch Potatoes, who friggin' started Eric Moulds? If they did, I guess your curse is starting to work."
Kuratko's e-mail to Pavelich after discovering that Vince's Psychedelic B's had indeed been defeated.

"At some point the league must wake up and realize that Storm just makes those lame ass comments just to get some attention. We all know his team won't make us give him any."
LTP GM Don Jones' response to the constant smack-running by Gargoyles GM Storm Thomas.

"After reading the Sports Page and my comment about my former co-owner I realized that someone with a 14-31 record over the last two years shouldn't be concerning himself with the first base coach. Maybe he should be worrying more about victories."
Jones again, in reflection of last week's comments in which he criticized the performance by his assistant coach Steve Suder during last year's high school baseball season.

"Kuratko can continue to talk about Vinny and the B's. Well I guarantee it will not be The B's he has to be concerned with."
Jones' response to Kuratko's praise of Vince's Psychedelic B's.

WEEK'S TRANSACTIONS
10/28/99

All-American Conference

Midnight Vigilantes
Price,Peerless    Picked Up Free Agent
Del Greco,Al      Picked Up Free Agent
Parker,De'Mond    Picked Up Free Agent
Stoyanovich,Pet   Waived from Midnight Vigilantes
Mills,Ernie       Waived from Midnight Vigilantes
Brister,Bubby     Waived from Midnight Vigilantes

Captain Tripps
Morris,Bam        Picked Up Free Agent
Kasay,John        Picked Up Free Agent
Ward,Dedric       Waived from Captain Tripps
Bradford,Corey    Waived from Captain Tripps

Cosmic Monsters
Lane,Fred         Picked Up Free Agent
Murrell,Adrian    Picked Up Free Agent
Smith,Robert      Waived from Cosmic Monsters
Engram,Bobby      Waived from Cosmic Monsters

Butt Chows
Graham,Kent       Picked Up Free Agent
Dilfer,Trent      Waived from Butt Chows

LTP
Hill,Greg         Picked Up Free Agent
Brown,Gary        Waived from LTP

Masons
Jeffers,Patrick   Picked Up Free Agent
Mills,Ernie       Picked Up Free Agent
Cunningham,Rand   Waived from Masons
Carruth,Rae       Waived from Masons

Browns Conference

Fat Bottom Girls
Rison,Andre       Waived from Fat Bottom Girls
Rivers,Ron        Waived from Fat Bottom Girls
Simmons,Tony      Waived from Fat Bottom Girls
Holt,Torry        Picked Up Free Agent
Metcalf,Eric      Picked Up Free Agent
Coates,Ben        Picked Up Free Agent

Assassins
Jeffers,Patrick   Waived from Assassins
Simmons,Tony      Picked Up Free Agent

Screaming Eagles
Holmes,Priest     Waived from Screaming Eagles
Stokes,J.J.       Waived from Screaming Eagles
Bynum,Kenny       Picked Up Free Agent
Faulk,Kevin       Picked Up Free Agent

Hostile Omish
McNown,Cade       Waived from Hostile Omish
Stoyanovich,Pet   Waived from Hostile Omish
Stoyanovich,Pet   Picked Up Free Agent
Loville,Derek     Picked Up Free Agent

Bonecrushers
Bradford,Corey    Waived from Bonecrushers
Hakim,Az-zahir    Waived from Bonecrushers
Loville,Derek     Waived from Bonecrushers
Huard,Damon       Picked Up Free Agent
Price,Peerless    Picked Up Free Agent
Huntley,Richard   Picked Up Free Agent

Mad Zippers
Young,Steve       Waived from Mad Zippers
Galloway,Joey     Waived from Mad Zippers
Engram,Bobby      Waived from Mad Zippers
Bennett,Sean      Picked Up Free Agent
Zeier,Eric        Picked Up Free Agent
Lane,Fred         Picked Up Free Agent

Donikers DTL
Brown,Gary        Waived from Donikers DTL
Johnson,LeShon    Picked Up Free Agent

King Salmons
NINERS,SF         Waived from King Salmons
Mariucci,Steve    Waived from King Salmons
Couch,Tim         Picked Up Free Agent