The
Sports Page
Volume 10, Issue 3 The On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League Sept. 12, 2002
The
Sports Page
Volume 10, Issue 3 The
On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League
Sept. 12, 2002
Four teams break century mark, two others top ninety in Week One
Led by Paul Labonte's Shadow Bandits, who scored an amazing 141 points in the first week of play, the 2002 Erie League season kicked off with bang.
Labonte
(pictured right), whose club was tabbed as the early season Groza Division
favorite in Keith Kuratko's Browns Conference Preview (click
to see article), drilled Jason Gillespie and HowAboutALilBitAThat!!!
by a score of 141-101. The output was the largest in the history of the Shadow
Bandits franchise and the most ever scored by an Erie League team on opening
day.
Other teams with outstanding opening weeks included Mike Kuratko's
Hostile Omish, who upended Kirk Pavelich's defending champion Midnight
Vigilantes, 103-71, Will Van Bibber's Jester X, which dropped Jim Damicone's
King Salmons, 107-74, and Dave Collins' Dayton Penatrators, who made their debut
a solid one by handing Storm Thomas and the Gargoyles a 107-38 ass-whipping.
Keith Kuratko, who caused quite a firestorm one week ago when he previewed all of the teams in the Browns Conference, opened the season with a solid 99-88 victory over Matt Rzyczycki and Captain Tripps. Jason Gillespie, whose HowAboutALilBitAThat!!! squad took abuse from Kuratko in the article, had plenty to say in return this week.
"Hey Keith Kuratko, anyone ever told you to eat a dick and die???" Gillespie said on the Erie League message board. "Well, if not, here's your first......Eat a dick!!! I know the reason you don't like my team name. It took you about fifteen minutes to type it. I know that words with more than 5 letters are tough, but just keep your focus, one finger at a time.....YOU CAN DO IT!!! By the way, you're GAY.....and the Atomic Punks....they are GAY too."
Perhaps,
but they are 1-0 and HowAboutALilBitAThat!!! is 0-1.
Not to be outdone, Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince (pictured left), whose club made a triumphant return to the All-American Conference with an 81-72 win over Don Jones and LTP, had plenty to say about the commissioner as he attempted to pick up the smack talk where he left off last year.
" Is it just me, or does anyone else wish they were a fly on Pav's wall when he's quoting himself for the Sports Page?" Vince said. "I mean, does he set up two separate chairs, hold up his thumb for a microphone, ask himself a question, then hurry over to the other chair and answer said question? Or does he ask himself the question, scurry out of the room, then return to answer the question in different clothing? How is it done??? Well, I guess I shouldn't knock it until I try it myself, so here we go. 'Self, Is Pav a no-life tool for having eight fantasy teams?? Self's reply, Yes!!' "
Vince also took the time to offer his own take on the teams that make up the Browns Conference. CLICK HERE FOR THE BRYAN VINCE BROWNS CONFERENCE PREVIEW.
Top Week
One performers included: RB Priest Holmes (pictured left), who totaled 37 points
(122
yards rushing, 19 yards receiving, 4 TDs) for the Shadow Bandits and Dayton
Penatrators, RB Travis Henry (pictured right), who scored 34 points (149 yards
rushing, 29 yards receiving, 3 TDs) for the Masons and Jester X, and RB Charlie
Garner, who netted 30 points (127 yards rushing, 64 yards receiving, 2 TDs) for
the Shadow Bandits while taking up space on the Atomic Punks' bench.
Great job submitting lineups during Week One. Just for your information, the web site allows you to make changes to your starters up until the kickoff of the 1 p.m. games. Your best bet is to submit a lineup early in the week and then to watch all the late breaking news to see if you need to make any changes. This software allows you to do it right up until the time the first games start. Therefore, always consider the last starting lineup you receive from an opponent to be the final official one.
To get your own smack talk printed on The Sports Page, either send an e-mail to the commissioner (KPAVELICH@neo.rr.com) and I'll be glad to edit your spelling and grammar so you don't look like a total dipshit. Or you can do it yourself on the league's message board. Go to http://fflnet2.myfantasyleague.com/fflnet2002/home/80682, scroll down until you see the buttons for links and team names, click the button for message board on the left, click the button for your team name on the right, enter your password and you're there.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
"I still can't get over the fact that (Jamie) Roush is taking phone calls for the Geriatric Division. Besides the fact that he can't add or subtract once he runs out of fingers and toes, I didn't think his hillbilly ass even had a phone. I just assumed when he needed to get a hold of someone he just opened up the window and yelled!" Psychedelic B's owner Bryan Vince, taking a jab at Browns Conference commissioner Jamie Roush.
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