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Auctions completed, Erie League ready to roll

Midnight Vigilantes look for three-peat; four owners join league

With both conferences having completed their respective auctions, the 24 owners in the Erie League will begin vying for the Fantasy Bowl crown when the NFL season opens next Thursday.

Commissioner Kirk Pavelich (pictured right), whose Midnight Vigilantes have won the championship three times, including titles in 2000 and 2001, will return to the All-American Conference - a division that has produced the title winner each of the past eight years. In an attempt to break up Pavelich's dynasty, Erie League owners voted in Joe Nunney to take over transaction night call screening for the All-American Conference.

"That's fine if they think that's going to slow me down," Pavelich commented. "I just look at the switch as another challenge to my team's run. Besides, research and luck are still the keys to success. Joe Nunney handling transaction night won't affect me in the least."

Four teams are making a switch in conferences this season, including Brad Rzyczycki's Cosmic Monsters, who move from the All-American to the Browns, while Titlebound Two (J.P. Dougherty and Brett Harney), the Hostile Omish (Mike Kuratko) and the Psychedelic B's (Bryan Vince) will all change residencies from the "Geriatric Division" to the one that has shown a tendency to produce champions. Last year's King of Smack, B's owner Bryan Vince (pictured below left with new do), picked right up from where he left off and began firing shots at league rookies Doug Frank (The Godfather) and Paul Tanski (Horn-Headed Degenerates).

"I would like to take this opportunity to welcome two of our newest teams to our little league, The Godfather and the Horn Headed Degenerates," Vince said. "The Erie League has always been known for good competition, fair play, and most of all sportsmanship. I was presently surprised to see that both our new owners are on the younger side, being that they are acquaintances of (Dave) Bell and (Sam) Profio, who were both born in the roaring twenties. And old sports, the answer is still 'no' you cannot get a discount on the league entry fee by using your Golden Buckeye Card. I have to admit though, when I saw that mug shot of the Horn Headed dude, I immediately ran to my computer and looked up the listings for Child Predators on the Summit County Sheriff's Office web site. The Godfather, except for the pasta coming out of his ears, looked somewhat normal. Welcome boys!!"

Not to be outdone, all-time wins leader Keith Kuratko, who is set to embark on his 13th Erie League season, took the time to write a preview for the members of the Browns Conference. CLICK HERE TO SEE KURATKO's BROWNS CONFERENCE PREVIEW. Make sure to check this out because it is sure to fire several of you up.

The only rookie in the All-American Conference is Dave Collins, whose Dayton Penatrators joined the league when Polish Monarchs GM Mike Szydlowski failed to show up for the auction. Team Bud (formerly Blockheads) owner Jody Barth was not impressed with Szydlowski's excuse of attending a golf outing instead.

"Ski, I hope you enjoyed your golf outing with the rednecks," Barth said. "Jesus, even Vince showed up. I am submitting a new rule to the commish. If you do not show up for the draft, you will receive a 'tea bag' party. Remember you are in the number one fantasy football league in America. Show some respect."

Collins, who led his team to two straight titles in the now defunct Beaver Valley League, hopes to remain successful in his new league.

"Whatever league we are in or wherever we play our goal is to bring another championship trophy back to our fans in DAYTON," Collins said. "Regardless that we are the new kid on the block or not, these teams will soon personally witness PENATRATOR football."

Ten of the twelve owners in the All-American Conference designated a franchise player, with Black Diamond's Marshall Faulk the most expensive (58 units) and the Atomic Punks' Anthony Thomas the least (1 unit). Team Bud placed the highest bid on a new player, shelling out 45 units for RB Ricky Williams (pictured right).

Seven franchise players were designated in the Browns Conference, with QB Donovan McNabb of the Bonecrushers going for the most (30 units) while RBs Deuce McAllister (2 units) of the Long Shots and Shaun Alexander (2 units) of the Donikers were the cheapest. Marshall Faulk (left) was the highest priced choice, going for 58 units to Bill Long and the Long Shots. In all, 17 owners elected to protect a player, adding an additional $340 to the prize pool.

Pavelich also announced a rule change involving franchise players for next season. Beginning with the off-season following the 2002 campaign, all owners will have the option of designating TWO franchise players. The first player, which will cost $20 (payable to the league's general fund), may be any drafted player on the roster, provided they have not been protected the previous season. Free agent acquisitions made during the regular season are not eligible to be protected as a franchise player. Drafted players who are dropped and added by another owner are eligible to be protected as a franchise player. The second player, which will cost $10 (payable to the league's general fund), must have cost between 1 (one) and 5 (five) units at the previous year's auction.

Franchise players declared this season, who will be ineligible for protected status next year include: All-American Conference - RB Priest Holmes, WR Randy Moss, RB Marshall Faulk, RB Shaun Alexander, RB Ahman Green, RB Anthony Thomas, QB Steve McNair, QB Michael Vick, RB Mike Alstott and QB Aaron Brooks. Browns Conference - QB Michael Vick, QB Jeff Garcia, RB Shaun Alexander, QB Donovan McNabb, RB Deuce McAllister, RB Priest Holmes and RB Ahman Green.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"Tell Nunney that I have plenty of redheaded stepchild smack coming his way.  I will make it a point to have a comment for his ass every week.  Maybe we can make up a catchy name for a special column.  Maybe 'Smack Nunney' or the 'Red ass comment of the week.'  I don't know, I'll think of something.  Also, tell Nunney nobody cares about who he keeping and who he's not keeping, the league doesn't give him a second thought." Psychedelic B's owner Bryan Vince, responding to Black Diamond GM Joe Nunney's question on whether Joe would have to draft for Vince again now that he's back in the All-American Conference.

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• Erie League set to kick off 13th season (June 24, 2002)