2002 Season

Comings and Goings

In the All-American Conference, Steve Suder's P.P. Brains folded after three seasons and a combined record of 14-27. Scott Keithley's Rat Bastards also closed up shop, after a two year tenure that featured a 3-23 record. Mike Szydlowski's Polish Monarchs, the 1999 Erie League Champions, were removed from the league when Szydlowski failed to show at the 2002 All-American Conference Auction. Brad Rzyczycki's Cosmic Monsters were forced to move to the Browns Conference due to the restrictions of Rzyczycki's football coaching schedule at Saginaw Valley State University. To fill the void, three franchises switched over from the Browns Conference: Titlebound Two (Brett Harney/J.P. Dougherty), the Hostile Omish (Mike Kuratko) and the Psychedelic B's (Bryan Vince). The fourth vacancy was filled with the awarding of an expansion team to Dave Collins (Dayton Penatrators). Joe Nunney's contract to serve as assistant commissioner and handle the All-American Conference transactions was renewed.

The Dirty Pigs (John Blust) folded after a one year mark of 4-9. Three expansion teams joined the Browns Conference along with Rzyczycki's Cosmic Monsters: the Intimidators (Steve Payne), the Godfather (Doug Frank) and the Horn-Headed Degenerates (Paul Tanski). Payne was no stranger to the Erie League, as he had captured the first ever Ultimate Bowl championship in 2001, as his Great Lakes Too champion Torsion Connect drilled the Erie League champion Midnight Vigilantes, 85-56. Jamie Roush was hired as an assistant commissioner to handle the Browns Conference transactions.

The Erie League terminated their statistical partnership with FanStar and entered into a contract with MyFantasyLeague.

Click here to read the season preview Sports Page.

The 2002 Auction

The All-American Conference's auction was moved to a new location in 2002, as the Ground Round in Kent hosted the festivities on Saturday, August 17, 2002, ending a 12-year tradition of having the draft at the Medical Specialties warehouse. The Browns Conference auction was held the next day, on Sunday, August 18, 2002 at 11:30 a.m.

Chaos took over in the All-American auction when several owners were unavailable for the draft. Gargoyles GM Storm Thomas was unable to make a flight in from California, resulting in Titlebound Two co-owner Brett Harney drafting a team for his arch rival. Polish Monarchs owner Mike Szydlowski failed to show and failed to notify anyone, so his squad was picked by auctioneer Bill Long and his son Willie (pictured above right), and then transferred over to new owner Dave Collins. Finally, Atomic Punks GM Keith Kuratko couldn't make the flight in from Arizona so his team was picked by long-time Erie League veteran Sam Profio. Things went much more smoothly the next morning with the Browns Conference auction, with Matt Rzyczycki selecting for his brother, Cosmic Monsters owner Brad Rzyczycki, and Joe Nunney choosing for Jason Gillespie, who was unable to fly in from Florida.

Click here to read the rest of the details in Sports Page (Vol. 10, Issue 2).

Ten of the twelve owners in the All-American Conference designated a franchise player, with Black Diamond's Marshall Faulk the most expensive (58 units) and the Atomic Punks' Anthony Thomas the least (1 unit). Other designees included: RB Priest Holmes (Dayton Penatrators), WR Randy Moss (Masons), RB Shaun Alexander (LTP), RB Ahman Green (Captain Tripps), QB Steve McNair (Hostile Omish), QB Michael Vick (Team Bud), RB Mike Alstott (Titlebound Two) and QB Aaron Brooks (Midnight Vigilantes).

Seven franchise players were designated in the Browns Conference, with QB Donovan McNabb of the Bonecrushers going for the most (30 units) while RBs Deuce McAllister (2 units) of the Long Shots and Shaun Alexander (2 units) of the Donikers were the cheapest. Other franchise players included: QB Michael Vick (Jester X), QB Jeff Garcia (King Salmons), QB Donovan McNabb (Bonecrushers), RB Priest Holmes (Shadow Bandits) and RB Ahman Green (HowAboutALilBitAThat). In all, 17 owners elected to protect a player, adding an additional $340 to the prize pool.

Kuratko and Vince get the league fired up

Following a request by Commissioner Pavelich, Atomic Punks GM Keith Kuratko (pictured left) and Psychedelic B's owner Bryan Vince, did their part to get the league fired up by publishing columns analyzing the teams in the Browns Conference.

Kuratko was particularly hard on Jason Gillespie: "Finishing fourth with a pathetic team is Jason Gillespie with an even more pathetic team name HowAboutALilBitAThat!!! HowAboutGettingARealTeamNameJackAss!!!!!! HowAboutALilBitAThat has Bledsoe, Green and Moulds and a very fucked up team name. Throw the rest of your players in the trash along with your team name and start over boy. Fortunately we won’t be hearing too much from HowAboutALilBitAThat!!!  It should be WhatTheFuckWentWrongThisSeason??? And the answer to that is when you came in with that team name."

Click to read Kuratko's Season Preview -- Click to read Vince's Season Preview.

Owner profiles returned for a second straight year. Among the Erie Leaguers profiled: DAVE COLLINS, DOUG FRANK, STEVE PAYNE, and PAUL TANSKI.

Season starts with Shadow Bandits rolling, ranked nationally

The Shadow Bandits, led by GM Paul Labonte (pictured right), scored an amazing 141 points in the first week of play, which proved to be just the start of an amazing campaign by Labonte's squad. The output was the largest in the history of the Shadow Bandits franchise and the most ever scored by an Erie League team on opening day. As a result, Labonte became the first owner in Erie League history to be ranked in the Top 25 in the National Fantasy Football Rankings.

Week 2 - Shadow Bandits in National Top 25 Rankings (#25)

Week 3 - Shadow Bandits in National Top 25 Rankings (#25)

Four teams break century mark, two others top ninety in Week One (9/12/02)

Two weeks in, smack talk begins

The end of Week Two brought back the thing that makes the Erie League special - smack talking had officially returned.

Jamie Roush took offense to last week's comments by Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince. In the exclusive Sports Page article, Vince had commented on Roush handling transactions for the Browns Conference: "Besides the fact that he can't add or subtract once he runs out of fingers and toes, I didn't think his hillbilly ass even had a phone."

"I am playing this season under protest," Roush said. "See, Vince has an unfair advantage over the rest of us. He spends all day in Jolly Pirate donuts, he has the opportunity to research players and think of something really weak to say about the other teams. His latest attempt was obviously one of his weakest. I forgot that all of the 'Rednecks' as Vince called me live in Rocky River. What the?? Dumbass! Not to mention his weak attempt to talk about my math skills. I have a fucking physics degree! Vince, since you're obviously stupid as shit, physics is based around math. I thought cops were at least semi-intelligent. You are obviously an exception to the rule. By the way, I would be really disappointed if I didn't receive one of your traditionally feeble attempts to retaliate. Make sure you take a week to figure out a good one. And have another donut!"

Newcomer Dave Collins also attempted to get into the action by writing an "Associated Press" article on Vince and the B's visiting the Dayton area. CLICK HERE TO READ: Penatrators to honor B's owner 'Rosie' Vince.

Two weeks in, smack talk begins (9/19/02)

Vince fires back at Roush and Collins

It took Vince exactly one week to respond to Roush when he fired back in the next Sports Page -- Vince, Roush rivalry heats up; newcomer Collins joins the mix (9/27/02).

"I have to apologize to the other owners in the league for making them read my 'feeble attempts' at running smack," said Vince (pictured right). "I mean, Roush and the never heard before Cop/Donut Smack, is so fresh, so cutting edge. But here we go again. A Physics major, WOW, I stand corrected.  If I would have known that, I never would have ripped on you. What a noble and respect demanding profession. I remember the countless times in my youth when my buddies and I were out 'bending the law,' and all of a sudden one of them said, 'Dudes, chill out, there's a PHYSICS MAJOR!!' What about those times you were walking along and you heard a women scream, 'Someone call the PHYSICS MAJOR, that guy stole my purse.' And the stories, Oh the stories I bet you can tell. Like the time you got into a foot pursuit and caught that fleeing felon hiding under a car.  Wait...that was me. What about the time you helped break up that fight at the Euclid Tavern and the dude took a swing at you, so you face planted him into a dumpster. Wait...that was me too. I know, what about the time you were startled by the door closing too hard and you turned fast and spilled your coffee all over your PHYSICS math problems. WOW, was that scary.

"Bottom line Physics Geek, I wear a uniform with a badge. You probably wear a white lab coat with a pocket protector. I carry a gun and handcuffs. You carry a calculator and a slide rule. I can take away someone's freedom. You, well, can't. You can try and crack on my profession all you want, but when the bullets are flying, remember who is running toward them and who's running away. By the way, your fantasy team still blows."

Vince backed up his words and his team improved to 4-0 with a convincing 111-71 victory over Dave Collins' upstart Dayton Penatrators.

"Does anything really need to be said?" Vince said. "You sorry excuse for a man. I've seen two street bums wrestling over a cardboard box put up a better fight than you. You talk all kinds of smack and then what happens? You show up, if you call that showing up, and promptly get smacked in the mouth. You say I have a big mouth - you're Goddamn right I have a big mouth - but I can back it up. I don't talk shit and then lay down and spread my legs like a $2 whore. You thought your little, cut and paste Rosie picture was cute. You thought you could run smack with me, but just like that line from the Fast and The Furious, 'You don't get in the Ring with Ali just because you think you can box.' Smack is my game, my ball yard and you're not even in my league. You better start off in the minors and try and earn your call up. Start with the Physics Scholar Roush or Will Van Selleck. They are more your speed. Like I said before, next time you talk it, you better be able to walk it."

B's quiet Collins, Penatrators (10/4/02)

Interleague Play begins after a flurry of trades

Prior to Interleague play week, the Erie League saw a flurry of trades as several owners attempted to better their squads for the stretch run. Several teams, most notably the Midnight Vigilantes, who had stumbled out of the gate with a 1-4 mark, worked the phones all week in an effort to improve their squads. Vigilantes GM Kirk Pavelich (pictured right) traded away six players -- QB Aaron Brooks, RB LaDainian Tomlinson, RB Corey Dillon, RB Jerome Bettis, RB Michael Pittman and WR Kevin Dyson -- to three teams for QB Joey Harrington, RB Ahman Green, RB Najeh Davenport, RB Travis Henry and WR Terrell Owens.

In the Browns Conference, Stonehenge GM Jamie Roush pulled the trigger on a deal with Shadow Bandits owner Paul Labonte, sending RB Lamar Smith and WR Jerry Rice to the Bandits for WR Randy Moss and RB Thomas Jones. The trade lead to instant criticism from Intimidators GM Steve Payne.

"Are you f'n kidding me," Payne said. "Now Stonehenge has Harrison, Moss & Owens!?! Jesus! And what was Shadow Bandit thinking? The guy has been in the national top 25 once or twice already this season! Listen here my friend, you shouldn't fix it if it isn't broke. Now I see why your bio reads: Years in Erie League: 10, Conference Titles: NONE, Fantasy Bowl Titles : NONE. Maybe that should tell you something Paul!"

Flurry of trades highlights annual cross-conference matchup week (10/11/02)

Once play began, the two leagues split 12 games, leaving the all-time Interleague record at 24 wins for both the All-American and Browns Conference during four years of play.

Revamped Vigilantes explode (10/18/02)

Second half starts; Dougherty questions Vince's sexuality

Despite dropping a 116-93 decision to the Dayton Penatrators, Titlebound Two co-owner J.P. Dougherty (pictured in hat with fellow owner Brett Harney) took the opportunity to respond to weeks of trash talking by Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince.

"I seem to have noticed a little trend coming from Bryan Vince, owner of the Psychedelic Bitches," Dougherty said. "It seems that Bryan has an infatuation with gay smack. After the first couple of postings you could chalk it up to coincidence, but after two years, week in and week out of gay postings, you understand what is going on -- our friend Bryan is a gay cop! That's right folks Policeman Bryan is a Butt Pirate. Some of you may say, wait a minute JP he can't be, he's an officer of the law. I say go back and look at the evidence. Every time he writes smack he laces it with gay connotations. Every owner in the league at one point or another has fell victim to it.

Bell vs. Profio, 2002

In other games, both Sam Profio's Donikers-DTL (2-5) and Dave Bell's Bonecrushers (3-4) were set for their annual showdown.

"Hey DTL, Where the hell have you been this year?" said Bell (pictured left). "I don't hear from you anymore! It can't be because your team SUCKS! It's not because you're in LAST place in the WHOLE FRIGGIN LEAGUE is it? You're giving the geriatrics a BAD NAME! Get ready for another hit because while you're down, I'm going to take a shit right on your grave! You're a lock for the Toilet Bowl, Holmes!

Profio, feeling good after his club's 77-57 win over Jester X, responded with comments of his own.

"I can't believe you have the audacity (Bryan, this means incredibly brash) to run this kind of smack when your team sucks like a $100 whore," said Profio (pictured right). "You may have one more win but you are 3 and 4 for Christ's sake, last in your division, and I have outscored you (which goes double for the ladies). If I end up in the Toilet Bowl, I am sure I will see your turd ass floating around there in which case I will have to beat you once again. Some things never change my belt loop bitch. Actually, you may have your first opportunity to beat me in about, what, 20 years because my two best guys are down. In spite of that, I see that you were still so scared that you had to make a trade. You are fortunate that I am in New England and not in the office or the turds would be showing up all over your office all week long! Save me a Baby Ruthie."

B's GM Vince had his own thoughts on the annual Donikers-Bonecrushers war of words.

"The Geriatric War has to be ended," Vince said. "If this keeps up one of you baby food eaters is going to stroke out. The only way to solve this is, da, da, da, 'The Geriatric Olympics.' You guys can compete in one of many events to decide who gets the big prize, the last pudding cup. We start off with the strength events: the Hearing Aid Toss and the Denture Throw. Next is the speed events: The 100 yard walker dash and the 400 cane walk. If your hips are still in tact and one or both of you doesn't need a nap, you can get in the ring for 3 rounds and bash each other with your Colostomy Bags. Oh what a sight, where do I get a ducket?"

Division races heating up in both conferences; smack talk continues (10/25/02)

Psychedelic B's, Team Bud have best records in league at 6-2 (11/1/02)

Psychedelic B's hammer Omish, allow Vince to run his mouth again (11/8/02)

More bad blood as regular season winds down

The fun started when Long Shots GM Bill Long (pictured right) called out Bonecrushers owner Dave Bell on the Erie League's message board.

"Here we go again Dave," Long wrote. "Your limp ass dick, I mean team, still is in trouble this week even though I had to pick up two players just to have a complete line-up this week. You're going down so badly that even Viagra won't help you out! I'm going to be 'FAULKING' all over you this week."

Bell, never at a loss for words, immediately had a response for Long.

"Hey you 'Faulking' midget," wrote Bell. "You've obviously forgotten how you won the first game we played this year. Since your memory is about as long as your pecker (your wife told me) let me refresh it. My roster outscored your roster by about ...oh ...100 points! Lisa was in my office and we were practicing Flashing for Beads at the Beer Barrel when my lineup was due. Well, not so this time around Bunkie! She stopped in early this week when you were out of town and took care of business. So get ready for a large dose of ass-whoopin. I don't need that Viagra shit (which she can attest to). That's for limp dick geezers like Profio and Damicone!"

When the talking finally stopped and the action on the field began, it was the Long Shots who delivered the ass-whoopin, 92-55.

More bad blood among owners as regular season winds down (11/15/02)

With one week to go in regular season, post-season options vary (11/22/02)

Division Champs

In the All-American Conference, the Masons (7-5) won the Blue Division, the Psychedelic B's (9-3) captured the Red Division and Team Bud (8-4) won the White Division title. In the Browns Conference, the Cosmic Monsters (7-5) took home the Brown Division title, the Godfather (8-4) won the Graham Division, and the Shadow Bandits (7-5) clinched in the Groza.

Click here to see the rest of the 2002 Standings

Field of 16 is set as Erie Leaguers prepare to play for the cash (11/29/02)

Playoffs - Round One

The All-American top-seeded Psychedelic B's was shocked in the first round by the conference's number eight seed, the Dayton Penatrators, 102-78. B's GM Bryan Vince hurt his own cause when he left RB LaDainian Tomlinson and his 45 point performance on the bench and replaced WR Peerless Price (21 points) with TE Tony Gonzalez (13 points) just minutes before the start of the game.

"Fuckin' shoot me, stab me, poison me, cut my legs off, drag me behind a car, put slivers under my finger nails, and slit my fuckin throat," a shell-shocked Vince said after the game.

Penatrators GM Dave Collins (pictured left), who attempted to get inside Vince's head earlier in the week, appeared to have been successful, considering the 53 points left on the B's bench.

"Thanks for thinking too hard about your lineup," Collins said. "I know, I know. I should have never tried to play mind games with the 'KING PLAYER' was it? Thanks for KING PLAYING yourself into the OFF SEASON. Appreciate the help."

The other upset in the All-American Conference involved the three-time champion Midnight Vigilantes, who blew a 48 point Monday Night lead to lose in overtime, 101-89 to Don Jones and LTP. Vigilantes GM Kirk Pavelich (pictured left), lost his chance to win a third straight title when Jets QB Chad Pennington threw an interception on the last play of the Jets-Raiders game.

Two upsets in All-American; Browns Conference true to form (12/6/02)

Conference Semi-Finals

In the All-American Conference, two former champions - Jody Barth's Team Bud and Don Jones' LTP advanced to the conference finals while in the Browns Conference, an 11-year veteran who had never been to the big dance - Paul Labonte and the Shadow Bandits - advanced to the conference title game against Erie League rookie owner Paul Tanski and his Horn-Headed Degenerates.

Two more weeks will decide who takes home the Erie League crown (12/13/02)

Conference Finals

The Erie League saw two more upsets in the conference final round, as 5th seeded LTP squeaked by Team Bud 84-83 to claim the All-American Conference title while the 5th seeded Horn-Headed Degenerates upended the Shadow Bandits, 80-58, to win the Browns Conference title.

LTP, Degenerates to battle for league crown (12/20/02)

Fantasy Bowl 13

Paul Tanski (pictured at right with his wife Andrea and  commissioner Kirk Pavelich) walked away with a check for $644 and an Erie League championship in his debut season, thanks to his Horn-Headed Degenerates' 96-93 victory over Don Jones' LTP squad in Fantasy Bowl 13.

The comeback win was a fitting conclusion to the Horn-Headed Degenerates (10-6) debut season, considering the roller coaster ride they had been on throughout the year. At one point, Tanski’s club started the season with a 5-1 record, only to lose five of six, before closing out the year with five straight wins.

Degenerates win league crown (12/27/02)

The Masons won the All-American Conference's third place game 81-49 over the Dayton Penatrators 49 while the Godfather took the honors in the Browns Conference with a 132-83 victory over the Cosmic Monsters.

The Consolation Bowl

In the Consolation Bowl, Mike Kuratko's Hostile Omish won their second consolation bowl championship, 106-76 over the Long Shots.

Prior to the annual Erie Playoff League contest, commissioner Pavelich changed the rules from years past. This year, each owner had the opportunity to submit whatever 14 players they want to the commissioner before the start of the playoffs.

"The main reason we're going to do it this way this year is because of practicality," Pavelich said. "It's just too difficult this time of year to get the group together in a room for an hour or two to select fantasy football players. Scheduling a draft during late August can be challenging enough; finding an acceptable time slot amid all the holiday madness is near impossible. Second, the player pool available for a playoff league is so limited that not allowing multiple teams to have the same guy would severely limit the number of owners you could have.

The annual Erie Playoff League contest featured a new wrinkle in 2002 - all owners could put together a 14 man roster comprised of any playoff participant they desired. Jim Damicone won the new post-season playoff league format, his second straight title and third overall, with 519 points. Click here for the complete results.

Great Lakes Too Recap

For the third time in seven years Kirk Pavelich's Young Guns captured the Great Lakes Too League title, blasting Bill Long and Gear Head 83-47.

North Coast Fantasy Football League Recap

After a 7-6 regular season record earned his team a number eight seed, John Thiem led Sukas to the first ever North Coast Fantasy Football League title with a 95.25 to 64.65 victory over Jamie Roush's Gridiron Kings. Click here to see the box score of the first NCFFL championship game. The NCFFL, which debuted in 2002 using YahooSports as a scoring service, would eventually move to the MyFantasyLeague.com platform and become the sister league to the Erie League.

Ultimate Bowl II

Kirk Pavelich's Young Guns defeated Paul Tanski's Horn-Headed Degenerates, 113.9 to 93.7 in Ultimate Bowl II, a game that pitted the champions of the Erie League and the Great Lakes Too League. For the season, the Young Guns won 14 out of 17 games, including the last nine in a row. Click here to see the Ultimate Bowl Gallery of Champions.

The win avenges last year's Ultimate Bowl loss for Pavelich (pictured left), who at the time represented the Erie League champion Midnight Vigilantes. The Vigilantes were soundly defeated, 85-56, in the 2001 Ultimate Bowl by Great Lakes Too Champion Torsion Connect, owned by Steve Payne.

Young Guns win Ultimate Bowl (1/1/03)

Awards Banquet

Six owners, five wives and a son attended the seventh annual Erie League Awards Banquet on Saturday, Jan. 11, 2003 at Twin City Pub and Grille in Twinsburg.

Fantasy season is celebrated; Paul Tanski takes home big money (1/13/03)

Midnight Vigilantes GM Kirk Pavelich received recognition as the General Manager of the Year in the All-American Conference, while Psychedelic B's owner Bryan Vince (pictured right with Pavelich) took home the award for Coach of the Year. The award was Pavelich's third time as GM of the Year while Vince's COY recognition was the first of his career. Click here to see past General Managers of the Year.

In the Browns Conference, Paul Labonte received the GM of the Year and the Coach of the Year for his record-setting Shadow Bandits. Both recognitions were first time awards for Labonte. Click here to see past Coaches of the Year.

Chiefs running back Priest Holmes won his first Erie League Most Valuable Player award, both as a player for the All-American Conference's Dayton Penatrators and the Browns Conference's Shadow Bandits. Click here to see past Regular Season MVP's.

Broncos running back Clinton Portis became the ninth straight back to win Rookie of the Year honors, as he accomplished the feat in each conference. Click here to see past Rookies of the Year.

Colts QB Peyton Manning was named the Most Valuable Player for the Playoffs for scoring a team high 79 points during the post-season for the champion Horn-Headed Degenerates. Manning, who scored just 12 in the first round of the playoffs, finished strong with 18 points, 21 points and then 28 points in the Fantasy Bowl. Click here to see past Post-Season MVP's.

Click here for the Top 30 scorers for the 2002 season.