Browns Conference Preview - 2002     

by Bryan Vince, Erie League King of Smack

Leave it up to Kuratko to put everyone to sleep with his dull predictions. That poor soul could screw up a wet dream. If you wanted the real predictions you should have came to me.

Jim Brown Division
Deuce and the Cosmic Monsters end up in the "Insane Asylum" when attempting to make a three player trade with Jim Damicone, realizing the Salmons are attempting to trade players on other teams. Jamie Roush goes after Will Van Bibber with a pitch fork when realizing that his dog is pregnant with Van Bibber's love puppy.

Otto Graham Division
Sam Profio, having MAN trouble in the bedroom, offers Steve Payne a nice monetary payment to fill in for him until his Viagra prescription is filled. Paul Tanski is discovered in the Godfather's bed using his "best lines" on a severed horses head.

Lou Groza Division
Jason Gillespie, and that idiotic team name, meets Bill Long and his LONG shots in the first ever "Penis Envy" Bowl. With Alzheimer's taking its toll, Dave Bell is arrested for publicly dry humping Paul Labonte and his Shadow Bandits. Ruff, Ruff!! Hmmmmmm, leaving 84 points on the bench (the Bonecrushers). I know one owner who is not going to be coach of the year.

Oh, a news flash you might not believe - Nunney loses.