The Sports Page        

Volume 9, Issue 5         The On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League         Oct. 15, 2001

Browns Conf. reigns supreme

Defeat All-American opponents 8-4 in Week Six's Interleague round

For the first time in the history of Interleague Play, the Browns Conference came out on top, winning eight of the twelve matchups this year. After three years of using the one week crossover format, the two conferences are tied with 18 wins a piece.

"So they got lucky and won a few games against us this year," said Kirk Pavelich, whose Midnight Vigilantes reside in the All-American Conference. "The real question will be whether they can win the big game at the end. How long has it been since anyone from the Browns Conference won the title?"

Jim Damicone's King Salmons, the 1993 Erie League champion and the last to come from the Browns Conference, raised their record to 3-2 after a solid 105-73 thumping of Jody Barth and the Blockheads. Damicone's club, which last year became the first team in league history to go winless, was led by 49ers QB Jeff Garcia's 38 points. Despite the win, Damicone (pictured right) said he is still more than willing to wheel and deal.

"I am tired of hearing all of you owners screaming 'Breakup the King Salmons,'" Damicone said. "Therefore, I am making any one of my stable of great running backs available: James Stewart, Tyrone Wheatley and Maurice Smith. I will listen to all serious offers. My problem is that I already have an excellent corps of receivers: Carter, Taylor, Price, Horn, Chambers and Dwight. However, I don't view any of my outstanding players untouchables (this includes my QB Garcia)."

Both Bryan Vince's Psychedelic B's and Sam Profio's Donikers-DTL came away with victories for the Browns Conference, as the B's held off Joe Nunney's Black Diamond 89-86 while the Donikers bested the defending champion Midnight Vigilantes 88-61. Vince was particularly pleased with his victory over Nunney, the man who put together the 13-2 Psychedelic B's back in 1999.

"Better luck next time Pink Diamond," Vince said. "You get my quarterback (Jeff Garcia) through fraudulent activity and I still waxed your ass. GIVE ME BACK MY GM OF THE YEAR AWARD!!"

The best part of Vince's move to the Browns Conference has been the renewed rivalry with Profio's Donikers. To see a more detailed account of their recent war of words, CLICK HERE.

Keith Kuratko and the Atomic Punks, newcomers to the All-American Conference, improved to 4-1 and matched the Salmons for high point production of the week with a convincing 105-70 drubbing of the Hostile Omish and younger brother Mike Kuratko.

After spouting off last week about his team's ability to knock off the Brett Harney/J.P. Dougherty team of Titlebound Two, Storm Thomas' Gargoyles let him down by dropping a 101-78 decision. The normally loquacious Thomas was strangely quiet this week after the outcome became official.

LTP and owner Don Jones (pictured left) remained undefeated at 5-0 after spanking Jamie Roush's Stonehenge club 91-60. The last time a team had such a quick start out of the gate was Bryan Vince's 1999 Psychedelic B's, who started 6-0. The unheralded backfield of LaDainian Tomlinson and Shaun Alexander combined for 42 points as Jones moved closer to the early season $50 bonus, the award allotted to the owner in each league with the best start after six games. 

To clinch the cash, Jones will have to knock off Kuratko's 4-1 Atomic Punks.

"If you think that Jones is going to come away with that early $50 bonus after this week's games, you're nuts," Kuratko said. "He needs to get past me and that isn't going to happen. Once I beat him and if Ski is lucky enough to win, they still won't have enough points to pass me. After I beat LTP that will mean I beat Ski and DJ."

In the Browns Conference, the $50 race will come down to this week's games as the Gibby's (438 points), Psychedelic B's (428 points) and Titlebound Two (413 points) all have records of 4-1.

Click here to read the owner profile story on JOHN THIEM

Click here to read the owner profile story on JOE NUNNEY

VINCE AND PROFIO SQUARE OFF

Profio: "Hey Vince.  I just caught your smack on the Sports Page (been busy). Very funny. I still get a chuckle out of the "Doomed to Lose" crack from last year. I'll tell you what though. I surprised you stuck your chin out there on this one. I wouldn't get too excited about two wins out of seven tries. I still own you just like the hapless Bonecrushers. Both of you are on my belt loops.

Vince: "You talk about someone being on your belt loops: If memory serves me right (mine is still in good working order) the only record that really counts is 1-0, my record against you in Fantasy Bowl competition.  So go a little lower and swing on my vine!"

Profio: "Also you barely beat me and had to have your best week to do it. I had a WR on the bench that would have beat you. My point is that my squad is better than yours and you got lucky. To prove it, I will play you on the side every week for the rest of the season for $50. What do you say?"

Vince: "Waa, Waa, Waa -- I was lucky, you had a receiver on the bench, your dog ate your last viagra pill. Sounds like a lot of sour grapes to me. I don't remember the Ravens giving the Giants another shot or the Lakers telling the 76ers, 'hey, let's play again!!' I proved my point two weeks ago, but I'll tell you what, bring you and your motorized wheelchair to the league finals and I'll gladly bitch slap your sad ass to the tune of about $500.00 or whatever the official amount will be!!  Doomed To Lose --- Dick Too Limp!! What the hell is the difference. And just before Azheimers totally sets in, I'm 3-4 against you, not 2-5!! Not that I would ever run smack, but this week scores would make me 2-0 against that Buckeye Card using geezer. Damn, I should have taken that bet."

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