The Sports Page        

Volume 9, Issue 4         The On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League         Oct. 8, 2001

Interleague Play-Round Three

Gargoyles, Titlebound Two among the grudge matchups

One week after dissension rocked the Titlebound Two ownership camp, J.P. Dougherty and Brett Harney's club responded with a convincing 105-87 shellacking of Will Van Bibber's Lardass squad. Every starter for Titlebound produced double digits in the victory, led by WR Terrell Owens' 23-point performance.

"It's all in the name. We came, we saw and we will conquer," said Dougherty (pictured right). "Some may have doubted us after the first game - even my partner. But the mass build up of offensive weapons is starting to show force! We put out an ass-whooping this week with scores from all facets of our team. This shows the true depth of Titlebound Two! I am predicting no more losses all the way to the championship!"

The upcoming week will feature the third edition of Interleague Play. As is the case in most other Erie League categories that mean something, the All-American Conference leads the Browns Conference after two years by a count of 14 wins to 10 losses.

"When are we going to get rid of that ugly stepchild - the other conference," asked Don Jones, owner of LTP, the only undefeated team in the All-American Conference. "None of them can play. The great droughts of the southwest last only five years. Their title drought has already lasted seven years."

One of the more intriguing interleague matchups will involve Daugherty and Harney's Titlebound squad going up against Storm Thomas (pictured left) and the Gargoyles. Fantasy baseball fans will recall the wager placed during the MLB season in which Harney offered to pay Thomas' fantasy football entry fee - if Storm's fantasy baseball team, the Stormtroopers, finished higher in the standings than Daughtery/Harney's Mudville Nine. In the season that just ended Sunday, the Stormtroopers held off the Mudville Nine by a score of 71 to 66.5. Had Storm lost the bet he would have been forced to hand over naming rights of his football franchise to Harney.

"In Los Angeles they danced and filled the streets...Alas, there was no joy in Mudville for Mighty Muddy has struck out!" Thomas said in a Monday morning e-mail. "Hey the GARGOYLES -- say it loud! I'm the GARGOYLES and I'm proud!! I'm going to kick your ass this weekend in fantasy football too!!! C'mon bring it on!! I know my team sucks but so what -- you're paying for it!! I predict that next Sunday there will be an earthquake felt around the world!! The cause? Titlebound Two falling to the Gargoyles."

Titlebound co-owner Brett Harney said he has total confidence in his team's ability to pound the 1-3 Gargoyles.

"Why is Pee Wee Thomas even going to turn in a lineup this week," Harney asked. "His sad-sack team is a pure measure of his fantasy abilities - lame at best. We are going to run it up on PWT and the rest of the Gargoyles. This might be the biggest point difference in the Erie League History. You know that there is no love lost between PWT and me. Let the games begin."

In other games, Don Jones and LTP will remain perfect -- the only Erie League team that can make that claim -- by virtue of their 89-79 win over Jody Barth and the Blockheads.

LTP is showing many of the same qualities they did back in 1997 when they captured their first Erie League title. Namely, unknown players are rising to the forefront. This week, rookie RB LaDainian Tomlinson netted 17 more points to raise his season total to 81, while reserve back Shaun Alexander assumed a starting role and promptly produced 30 points. Hey Ricky Watters -- it was nice knowing you!

"The only way it resembles the team of '97 is the record," Jones said. "I actually had a better teammate drafting with me this year (partner Tyler, Jones' 5-year-old son, is pictured at right). "He knew more of what was going on than my former partners."

Jones now leads the all-time series over Barth 4-3, but more importantly for the Blockheads, the loss dropped them two full games in back of Keith Kuratko's Atomic Punks in the Red Division.

"I'm really not going to say anything derogatory about Jody because his lineup selections say enough for themselves," Jones said.

One of Jones' former partners, Steve Suder, watched as his P.P. Brains fell to 0-4 following their 77-55 loss to Mike Szydlowski's Polish Monarchs. Despite having big guns Edgerrin James and Marvin Harrison off due to the bye, Szydlowski rebounded from last week's pathetic performance against the Punks, thanks in part to an 18-point defensive effort from the Giants.

" I'm not saying a thing this week," Szydlowski said. "I'll let my performance speak for itself for now on."

Bryan Vince and the Psychedelic B's rallied back from a 38-point Monday Night deficit to Paul Labonte's Shadow Bandits when the Rams defense scored 21, WR Torry Holt netted 13 and WR Johnnie Morton netted four. The B's then put the game away in OT when reserve Tim Couch outscored Tom Brady 15-4.

"Oh and Shadow Bandits," said B's owner Vince as he prepared to fire a shot at Labonte. "Nah, that would be too easy, kind of like beating a dead horse"

CLICK HERE TO READ THE YEAR'S FIRST OWNER PROFILE STORY - JOE NUNNEY

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"Congratulations to Brad for winning the Fantasy Baseball title - I wouldn't bet on him to win the Fantasy Football title though.  That would really be a foolish bet.  Hey, Harney you want to make a bet?"  Gargoyles  owner Storm Thomas expressing the opinion that Brad Rzyczycki, a two-time title game runner-up, will have a hard time winning a second fantasy sports championship.

"Storm: suck my penis!" Cosmic Monsters GM Brad Rzyczycki's official response.

"Hell. I don't know who is more foolish - Harney for thinking that he would prevail over me or J.P. Daugherty for owning a team with Harney!  You know why do these guys have to own a team together anyway - Uh Oh .. Whoops! I forgot Harney is paying for two teams this year!" Gargoyles  owner Thomas questioning the Titlebound Two ownership team.

"It looks like this years version of DJ and Storm is those two geezers in my league. Only instead of arguing over whose dick is smaller, they battle over who uses their case of Depends undergarments first." Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince responding to the ongoing trash-talking war between Donikers-DTL owner Sam Profio and Bonecrushers GM Dave Bell.

CHALLENGE OF THE WEEK

To: Bryan Vince, Psychedelic B's -- From: Sam Profio, Donikers-DTL

"Hey Vince.  I just caught your smack on the Sports Page (been busy). Very funny. I still get a chuckle out of the "Doomed to Lose" crack from last year. I'll tell you what though. I surprised you stuck your chin out there on this one. I wouldn't get too excited about two wins out of seven tries. I still own you just like the hapless Bonecrushers. Both of you are on my belt loops.

Also you barely beat me and had to have your best week to do it. I had a WR on the bench that would have beat you (my bad). My point is that my squad is better than yours and you got lucky. To prove it, I will play you on the side every week for the rest of the season for $50. What do you say? That goes for the potty mouth Bonecrushers too!"

Donikers-DTL (Destroying the League)

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