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Erie League auction kicks off with a bang

Atomic Punks, Black Diamond jump to All-American Conference

The All-American Conference Auction took place on Aug. 10 with ten of twelve owners returning for a chance at the 2001 title.

The big news came early when Atomic Punks GM Keith Kuratko (right), long-time participant and former commissioner of the Browns Conference, shocked everyone in the room with his entry into the  conference. Apparently, rumors of Kuratko's retirement from fantasy football were a bit premature. The 11-year veteran brings a record of 102-72 into the conference that has featured the Erie League champ every year since 1994.

"The All-American Conference is definitely the better of the two conferences," Kuratko said. "Just look at who has won the Fantasy Bowl the last seven years. Plus, Pav told me it is easier to take advantage of people in this conference than in the Browns Conference."

Several owners were visibly upset with the circumstances of the switch, most notably when Commissioner Kirk Pavelich made the decision to allow the Atomic Punks to protect WR Terrell Owens for four units. 

"When Keith walked through the door, I shit my pants, my heart stopped and I started to shake," said Blockheads owner Jody Barth. "Fear had entered my body."

The Rzyczycki brothers (left) said they didn't see the point of Kuratko's grand entrance, a move they thought showed up the rest of the league. Cosmic Monsters GM Brad Rzyczycki said he didn't even want to comment for this story.

"Is (Kuratko) better than the rest of us in this league," Rzyczycki asked. "Does he deserve special attention? Fuck that entire situation."

Gargoyles owner Storm Thomas, who only learned of the move after the draft had been completed, also voiced his concerns about the way it was handled by the commissioner.

"I think it is a bogus move," Thomas said. "That should have been approved by the owners in the conference. The opportunity to switch leagues wasn't presented to everyone - that wasn't fair. If I had known, I would have switched leagues and added some respectability to the Browns conference."

Don Jones, GM of the LTP franchise, said he believed Kuratko would make a welcome addition to the conference.

"I knew he would never stay away from fantasy football," Jones said. "I am glad he is back. He is a very good fantasy player that may give me a run for my money this year. Seriously, this conference is now a two team race:  Atomic Punks and LTP.  I think he may run some shit on some people unless he has turned over a new leaf as well."

Auctioneer Joe Nunney became the second member of the Browns Conference to jump to the All-American when he replaced Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince, who cancelled an appearance at the eleventh hour. 

"I'm pleased with the addition of Kuratko and myself to the All-American Conference," Nunney said. "Kuratko's presence certainly ups the ante, especially in our division, I know he has already penciled in two victories over Black Diamond but sometimes his bark is much worse than his bite."

Marshall Faulk (left) was the highest priced choice, going for 58 units to John Thiem and the Masons. In all, eleven owners elected to protect a player, adding an additional $220 to the prize pool.

The Browns Conference, which is still in need of another owner, will hold its auction on Saturday Sept. 8th at 10:30 a.m. If you know of anyone who would be interested in joining the league, have them contact Commissioner Pavelich at KPAVELICH@neo.rr.com.

Click here for more pictures from the 2001 All-American Conference auction! [Blockheads GM Jody Barth concentrates on his next pick] [Auctioneer Joe Nunney closes the bidding on a player] [Commissioner Kirk Pavelich watches Steve Suder's struggle to stay awake]

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

Question: What are your first impressions of your team?

"My team is a team that will not compete for anything until Storm begins to run his mouth." LTP owner Don Jones.

"My fist impressions of my team - PUSSY'S. Ricky Williams injury prone,  Keenan McCardell hurt already. It is going to be a long season. My franchise is rookie Michael Vick. What team is he on?" Blockheads GM Jody Barth.

"I like my starters but after that I need to work on my reserves. I would like my QB even more if friggin' DJ didn't throw (Rich) Gannon knowing that I couldn't outbid him for him. IF (Steve) McNair and (Eddie) George stay healthy I think I have a good shot at making the playoffs. But come that time, looking at the rosters, I believe that the team to beat is going to be the Midnight Vigilantes." Atomic Punks owner Keith Kuratko. 

"Look at that. The season hasn't even started yet and Kuratko is already trying to put the jinx on me. Welcome to the dominant conference Keith. Get ready for us to send you into a permanent retirement." Midnight Vigilantes GM Kirk Pavelich. 

"I'm loaded." Polish Monarchs owner Mike Szydlowski. 

"I now know how the perennial losers of the league feel." Gargoyles GM Storm Thomas.

"I am going to prove, once again, that you can be mediocre in this league without wide receivers. I may run a 1970s offense of three running backs and a tight end." Masons owner John Thiem.

"I feel my team this year is definitely better than last and I feel I will be in the running for Coach of the year if not champion of it all." Rat Bastards GM Scott Keithley.

"For being totally unprepared to draft a team, and making the late decision to keep the team, I'm pretty pleased with how my team rounds out.  Jeff Garcia for $1 was key, I'm a little weak at the RB spot but hopefully a trade will remedy that situation. I'm looking forward to accepting my second GM of the year award from the All-American Conference in January." Black Diamond owner Joe Nunney.

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• Erie League set to kick off 12th season (July 8, 2001)