Editor's Note: This is the seventh and final in a series of feature stories on the men who make up the Erie Fantasy Football League. 

Last season, Keith Kuratko's Atomic Punks finished the year with a record of 8-6, having scored a Browns Conference best of 1,148 points during the regular season. However, the year ended for Kuratko the same way it had the previous 10 years -- without a title.

The loss that ended the Punks' 2000 campaign, a 123-85 defeat to Sam Profio's Donikers, seemed to hit the league's all-time wins leader (109-76, .589 pct.) harder than the others. This time, the Erie League's inaugural champion hinted of his impending retirement. Although many owners had heard this song and dance before, Kuratko insisted that this time he was serious.

That all changed on Aug. 10, 2001 when Kuratko, citing a need for a new challenge, jumped from the Browns Conference to the All-American. Several owners were visibly upset with the circumstances of the switch, most notably when Commissioner Kirk Pavelich made the decision to allow the Atomic Punks to protect WR Terrell Owens for four units. Nearly four months later, some still can't let it go.

"This entire season, in my opinion, should be under protest," said Polish Monarchs GM Mike Szydlowsi. "The agreement of allowing KK to hold onto Owens is bullshit. I know for a fact that Pav would not of kept him for his own team. Just another suspect move by an individual who thinks he is the king, and one other that is very persuasive."

Psychedelic B's owner Bryan Vince, someone who tends to share his opinion once in awhile, said he still doesn't understand why Kuratko felt the need to switch conferences.

"I really can't see why the Atomic Pukes left the Geriatric Conference," Vince said. "It seems like such a perfect match for his non-smack talking ass." 

Bonecrushers GM Dave Bell, a fellow charter member who owns a career 8-4 mark against Kuratko, also questioned the decision to jump to the new conference.

"I knew that retirement story was just a bunch of bullshit," Bell said. "He went back to the pussy American Conference so he could win some games. Hey Keith, they're all scared shitless of you man. Nobody would even trade with you so the commissioner had to step up to placate you. Get back here in the Browns
Conference man. I miss my 'W's' with you."

Titlebound Two co-owner Brett Harney, a newcomer to the Erie League this season, said he believes Kuratko's best days are obviously behind him.

"Maybe you should lobby to become a full-time commissioner," Harney said. "It looks like the game has passed you by. Also, get a cat to lick that weak ass growth off your face!"

Other GM's, including Don Jones, boss of the front-running LTP squad, have come to embrace Kuratko's move to the All-American Conference.

"I am glad he is back, the game is always the first thing on his mind," Jones said. "This year there has been no smack talking out of his mouth, just good fantasy football. We all should model ourselves after his success story."

While Kuratko has remained relatively quiet over the course of the Punks' 7-4 season, there used to be a time when he was the Erie League's self-proclaimed King of Smack.

"People might say that I am the original trash talker and the team that almost everyone liked to beat back in the day," Kuratko said, "but (Psychedelic B's GM Bryan) Vince has easily taken over that spot. I look forward to reading his comments every week. He makes this league very entertaining."

Kuratko, who in addition to his 1990 championship has two conference titles and four division championships to his credit, said there is a difference between Vince's current smack talk and the kind he engaged in over the years. Regardless, he believes his past trash talking causes everyone in the league to look forward to the chance to knock off his Punks.

"Not so much for berating the other owners and their teams like Vince does, but more so for the outlandish trades I have made," Kuratko said of the reasons other owners like to beat him. "Plus, just for talking so confidently about my team with a little bit of arrogance that my teams were the greatest year in and out -- even though most times they weren't."

Through years of running his mouth, Kuratko has gained his fair share of rivals.

"My biggest rival used to be Mike Bell and the Assassins but since he left Paul Labonte's Shadow Bandits and Dave Bell's Bonecrushers took over," he said. "Now that I am in the All-American Conference I can feel a rivalry developing between myself and Don Jones' LTP. Don't know why, but it might have started when he kept me from winning the $50 bonus earlier for the best record after the first six games."

Kuratko said he gets the itch to make a blockbuster deal each year. This season, he gambled by trading RB Eddie George and WR Troy Brown to Pavelich's Midnight Vigilantes for RB Fred Taylor, the Jaguars stud back who has been sidelined all but two weeks this season due to a groin injury. While that particular deal is looking questionable, Kuratko said he has fond memories of several trades from years past.

"The greatest trade would probably be the one I made with the King Salmons back in the inaugural season," Kuratko said. "I traded TE Eric Green for RB Derrick Fenner, who propelled my team to the first ever Fantasy Bowl Championship. Another one would be when I found out that Captain Tripps was trying to get Steve Young from Black Diamond and I came in from nowhere and made an offer that Black Diamond couldn't refuse. I ended up stealing him from Captain Tripps. Boy, was Matt pissed off about that one. That was pretty funny."

This season, Kuratko's Punks have broken the 100-point barrier four times. He knows better than anyone that it won't mean squat if the team doesn't produce come playoff time.

"I like my team's chances of making the Fantasy Bowl this year though it is beginning to feel like déjà vu from last year when I had a comfortable lead in my division heading into the last three weeks and I ended up losing the division to the Donikers-DTL," he said. "If, and it is a big IF right now, Fred Taylor comes back healthy for the playoff run, I feel I have a very good shot at representing the All-American Conference in the Bowl. With a healthy Taylor and the A-Train (Chicago RB Anthony Thomas) in the backfield, with their matchups during the playoffs and with Terrell Owens getting 15+ points a game, it will be tough to knock the Punks from the playoffs."

Kuratko added that he believes the race for the title this year is more wide open than it has been in recent memory.

"There really isn't any one team, in either conference, that is dominating the league," he said. "Any team can win it all right now. You can point out that LTP is 9-1 but they are overrated. They are good but they definitely aren't dominating and even DJ knows it. Why else would he suggest that his team dump their last two games so he doesn't have the possibility of facing Joe Nunney's Black Diamond in the first round of the playoffs?"

The Punks GM said he believes the All-American Conference will be represented by any of the following teams: LTP, the Midnight Vigilantes, Black Diamond or the Blockheads.

Of course things could change, especially if the Punks suffer another playoff meltdown this season, but as of now, Kuratko is already looking ahead to 2002.

"I would like to thank Matt Rzyczycki of Captain Tripps for dropping Anthony Thomas and allowing the Punks to pick him up and keep him next year for $1," he said. "One man's trash is another man's treasure. Thanks Matt."