The Sports Page        

Volume 11, Issue 8         The On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League         November 22, 2003

One week and then the playoffs

Several divisions clinched, others owners scrambling to get in

Five of six divisions have now been clinched with the final crown to be decided this week between Graham Division competitors Long Shots and Bonecrushers. Bill Long's Long Shots must win against the King Salmons to win the division outright. A loss and a win by the Bonecrushers over the Donikers-DTL would give the title to Dave Bell's club by virtue of two regular season wins in head-to-head competition.

In the All-American Conference, the divisions have been settled and one playoff invitation will be decided this week in a clash between Matt Rzyczycki's Captain Tripps and Joe Nunney's Hard Attack. The winner of the contest advances to take on the Midnight Vigilantes or Team Bud in the first round while the loser enters the Consolation Tournament.

Of course, all of this talk of a win or go home contest might have been avoided had Nunney fielded a full team back in Week 10 against Mike Kuratko's (pictured right) Hostile Omish. The topic still had the league buzzing after the comments in last week's Sports Page edition.

"Pav, thanks for calling me for my comment on the quotes in the latest edition of the Sports Page," Kuratko said. "If you would have called me, I would have confirmed that I am in cahoots with Nunney. I told him not to change his lineup for 8 weeks so that I could beat him in week 10 and clinch the division. I also stuffed the ballot box in Twinsburg while sitting on my couch in Gilbert, Arizona so that he could win the election. See you all in the playoffs!"

Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince (pictured left), who occasionally has an opinion to share, thought it was fitting for Nunney to knock off the other Kuratko brother - Keith - to officially eliminate the Atomic Punks this week. Hard Attack won the game, 104.7 to 101.65.

"Well it looks like Nunney has all the attributes needed to be a top notch politician," Vince said. "Last week he was on his knees for one 'Kuratko' brother and this week he was behind the other one. Damn Keith, I hope he used Vasoline!"

With one week to go, here are the current playoff possibilities:

All-American Conference (Top 8 teams qualify)

1. Midnight Vigilantes (GM- Kirk Pavelich) : 9-2, 100.2 points per game, clinched Blue Division. Will clinch #1 seed with a win over Titlebound Two.

2. Team Bud (GM- Jody Barth): 9-2, 89.4 points per game, clinched Red Division.

3. Hostile Omish (GM- Mike Kuratko): 6-5, 99.2 points per game, clinched White Division and #3 seed.

4. LTP (GM- Don Jones): 7-4, 78.9 points per game.

5. Dayton Penatrators (GM- Dave Collins): 6-5, 85.0 points per game.

6. Psychedelic B's (GM- Bryan Vince): 6-5, 80.8 points per game.

7. No Limit Ballers (GM- Robert Davis):  5-6, 75.4 points per game. Holds head-to-head tiebreaker over both Captain Tripps and Hard Attack so the Ballers can finish no lower than the 7th seed.

8. Captain Tripps (GM- Matt Rzyczycki): 4-7, 77.9 points per game. Will qualify for the playoffs as the #8 seed with a win over Hard Attack.

9. Hard Attack (GM- Joe Nunney): 4-7, 72.6 points per game. Will qualify for the playoffs as the #8 seed with a win over Captain Tripps.

10. Titlebound Two (GM- Brett Harney/JP Dougherty): 4-7, 66.3 points per game. Not quite eliminated but hanging by a thread. Needs to beat Midnight Vigilantes for 5th win and then hope for Captain Tripps win over Hard Attack. Then needs to finish with more points scored than Captain Tripps (856.65). Titlebound has currently scored 729.30.

11. Atomic Punks (GM- Keith Kuratko): 3-8, 75.1 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

12. Masons (GM- John Thiem): 2-9, 74.3 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

Browns Conference (Top 8 teams qualify)

1. Stonehenge (GM- Jamie Roush): 10-1, 89.5 points per game, clinched Kosar Division. Has clinched the #1 seed in the conference.

2. Long Shots (GM- Bill Long): 8-3, 92.4 points per game. Holds head-to-head tiebreaker over Horn-Headed Degenerates so the Long Shots will finish with the #2 seed if they clinch the Graham Division. Must win this week to clinch the division. A loss to the King Salmons and a win by the Bonecrushers will clinch the division for Dave Bell's squad by virtue of the head-to-head tiebreaker.

3. Horn-Headed Degenerates (GM- Paul Tanski): 8-3, 92.2 points per game, clinched Sipe Division.

4. The Godfather (GM- Doug Frank): 7-4, 87.1 points per game.

5. Bonecrushers (GM- Dave Bell): 7-4, 79.5 points per game.

6. Cosmic Monsters (GM- Brad Rzyczycki): 6-5, 90.1 points per game.

7. Gridiron Gods (GM- Jeff Gallagher): 6-5, 85.9 points per game.  

8. The Deerslayers (GM- Dave Pastir/Ray Urich): 5-6, 74.9 points per game.

9. Jester X (GM- Will Van Bibber): 3-8, 70.9 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

10. Shadow Bandits (GM- Paul Labonte): 3-8, 63.5 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

11. King Salmons (GM- Jim Damicone): 2-9, 62.5 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

12. Donikers-DTL (GM- Sam Profio): 2-9, 83.4 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

Just for your information, the web site allows you to make changes to your starters up until the kickoff of the 1 p.m. games. Your best bet is to submit a lineup early in the week and then to watch all the late breaking news to see if you need to make any changes. This software allows you to do it right up until the time the first games start. Therefore, always consider the last starting lineup you receive from an opponent to be the official one.

To get your own smack talk printed on The Sports Page, either send an e-mail to the commissioner (KPAVELICH@neo.rr.com) or you can do it yourself on the league's message board. Go to http://football5.myfantasyleague.com/2003/mb/board_show.pl?bid=200329111  , to talk some trash in this fashion.

INTERNATIONAL RANKINGS

Erie League vs. North Coast Fantasy Football League (NCFFL)

Note - The champions of these leagues will square off in Week 17 in Ultimate Bowl 3

CLICK HERE FOR BACK ISSUES OF THE SPORTS PAGE:

• Erie League set to kick off 14th season! (July 16, 2003)

• Football is back as Erie League kicks off 2003 (September 14, 2003)

• Roush continues to roll, trash talk minimal (September 28, 2003)

• Controversial trade, Donkey pictures, finally get smack started (October 5, 2003)

• All-American, Browns Conference square off, series tied at 24 (October 12, 2003)

• Despite conference best 6-1 mark, Vigilantes deal four players (October 26, 2003)

• Hard Attack GM elected to school board, blasted by fellow owners (November 16, 2003)

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