The Sports Page        

Volume 11, Issue 7         The On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League         November 16, 2003

Nunney wins election, loses in Erie

Hard Attack GM elected to school board, blasted by fellow owners

Hard Attack GM Joe Nunney (pictured right) was elected to the Twinsburg City Schools Board of Education on Nov. 4th. Nunney collected 3,126 votes (34.2 percent) and finished at the top of the list among the four contestants vying for two spots on the board.

"Congrats to Hard Attack owner Joe Nunney for being the highest vote getter in the 2003 Twinsburg school board elections," said Psychedelic B's owner Bryan Vince. "Hope you are a better board member than fantasy owner."

In the Erie League, Nunney's squad lost its third straight game to drop to 3-7, falling to the Hostile Omish 78.1 to 26. The game brought forth a firestorm of controversy though when it was learned that Hard Attack had just two starting lineup spots filled - PK Phil Dawson and the Tennessee defense. QB Tom Brady, RBs Garrison Hearst and Deuce McAllister, and WRs Joe Horn, Tai Streets and Shannon Sharpe were all off due to the bye week.

"I know Nunney has been busy with the election and all but it really looks like he tanked the game this week," said an owner in the Browns Conference. "You might have some pissed off guys in the All American Conference. I know I would be."

The criticism continued among All-American Conference owners.

"I think it's obvious Joe is in cahoots with Mike Kuratko," said one disgruntled owner. "By laying down this week, he clinched the weakest division in the Erie League for him. I wonder what kind of payment that will bring."

Others took the opportunity to spread the criticism around.

"I blame the commissioner for allowing the integrity of the Erie League to slip to this point," said another owner. "First he allows the bogus Peyton Manning for Rod Gardner trade early in the season and then he lets the Hostile Omish take on a team of a kicker and a defense. This shit has got to stop or else I'll quit playing next year."

Nunney could not be reached for comment.

In other action, the Dayton Penatrators ended Team Bud's six game winning streak and in the process, knocked Jody Barth's club from the top seed in the All-American Conference. The 99.05 to 71.9 win came after Penatrators GM Dave Collins (pictured left) challenged his club to step up in time to knock off Barth's "paper champions."

"We don't like them and they don't like us," said Collins, whose team now stands at 6-4 after winning three straight. "Let's see how they react to being punched in the mouth for a change in their own back yard. I told the guys before the game to let the shit fly because they are nothing but paper champions with a bunch of media created hype and we are rolling into their yard to lay old fashioned  ass kicking on them, make no mistakes about it. The more Team Buds we put on IR this week the less we have to face in the playoffs.

"I am tired of my team half-assing it and winning 3 games and lose 2," he added. "I challenged their manhoods this week and if that's what it takes then I will ride their ass day in and day out. The bullshit stops now and it all started with TEAM BUD on Sunday!"

With two weeks to go, here are the current playoff possibilities:

All-American Conference (Top 8 teams qualify)

1. Midnight Vigilantes (GM- Kirk Pavelich) : 8-2, 103.1 points per game.

2. Team Bud (GM- Jody Barth): 8-2, 90.4 points per game.

3. Hostile Omish (GM- Mike Kuratko): 6-4, 98.5 points per game. Has already clinched White Division.

4. Dayton Penatrators (GM- Dave Collins): 6-4, 87.0 points per game.

5. LTP (GM- Don Jones): 6-4, 80.3 points per game.

6. Psychedelic B's (GM- Bryan Vince): 5-5, 79.6 points per game.

7. No Limit Ballers (GM- Robert Davis):  5-5, 79.2 points per game.

8. Titlebound Two (GM- Brett Harney/JP Dougherty): 4-6, 67.2 points per game.

9. Captain Tripps (GM- Matt Rzyczycki): 3-7, 73.0 points per game.

10. Atomic Punks (GM- Keith Kuratko): 3-7, 72.5 points per game.

11. Hard Attack (GM- Joe Nunney): 3-7, 69.4 points per game.

12. Masons (GM- John Thiem): 2-8, 75.3 points per game.

Browns Conference (Top 8 teams qualify)

1. Stonehenge (GM- Jamie Roush): 9-1, 89.2 points per game.

2. Horn-Headed Degenerates (GM- Paul Tanski): 7-3, 91.2 points per game.

3. Bonecrushers (GM- Dave Bell): 7-3, 81.1 points per game.

4. Long Shots (GM- Bill Long): 7-3, 89.6 points per game. Have outscored Bonecrushers but trail in the division race because of two losses in head-to-head competition.

5. The Godfather (GM- Doug Frank): 7-3, 87.7 points per game.

6. Gridiron Gods (GM- Jeff Gallagher): 6-4, 88.0 points per game.  

7. Cosmic Monsters (GM- Brad Rzyczycki): 5-5, 87.0 points per game.

8. The Deerslayers (GM- Dave Pastir/Ray Urich): 5-5, 76.4 points per game.

9. Jester X (GM- Will Van Bibber): 3-7, 71.6 points per game.

10. Donikers-DTL (GM- Sam Profio): 2-8, 83.9 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

11. Shadow Bandits (GM- Paul Labonte): 2-8, 61.2 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

12. King Salmons (GM- Jim Damicone): 1-9, 62.2 points per game. Mathematically eliminated from playoffs.

Just for your information, the web site allows you to make changes to your starters up until the kickoff of the 1 p.m. games. Your best bet is to submit a lineup early in the week and then to watch all the late breaking news to see if you need to make any changes. This software allows you to do it right up until the time the first games start. Therefore, always consider the last starting lineup you receive from an opponent to be the official one.

To get your own smack talk printed on The Sports Page, either send an e-mail to the commissioner (KPAVELICH@neo.rr.com) or you can do it yourself on the league's message board. Go to http://football5.myfantasyleague.com/2003/mb/board_show.pl?bid=200329111  , to talk some trash in this fashion.

QUOTES OF THE WEEK

"I know Pav is very busy running his 280 fantasy leagues but he owes the geriatric and the puppy lover an apology.  Keeping their halftime score in the final results is just not right." Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince, commenting on the recent matchup between Paul Labonte's Shadow Bandits and Jim Damicone's King Salmons in which the Bandits held off the Salmons, 29.6 to 26.4

"Just to let everyone know, me and my better half went to the doctor and we found out we were having a boy. The doctor was amazed at how smart the little one was - he's only 17 weeks old and he already knows sign language. He said to "BLOW HIM!!"  Unbelievable." Vince again, sharing with the world that his future son is already following in his footsteps.

INTERNATIONAL RANKINGS

Erie League vs. North Coast Fantasy Football League (NCFFL)

Note - The champions of these leagues will square off in Week 17 in Ultimate Bowl 3

CLICK HERE FOR BACK ISSUES OF THE SPORTS PAGE:

• Erie League set to kick off 14th season! (July 16, 2003)

• Football is back as Erie League kicks off 2003 (September 14, 2003)

• Roush continues to roll, trash talk minimal (September 28, 2003)

• Controversial trade, Donkey pictures, finally get smack started (October 5, 2003)

• All-American, Browns Conference square off, series tied at 24 (October 12, 2003)

• Despite conference best 6-1 mark, Vigilantes deal four players (October 26, 2003)

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