The Sports Page        

Volume 11, Issue 5         The On-Line Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League         October 12, 2003

Interleague Play Preview 2003

All-American, Browns Conference square off, series tied at 24

With five weeks in the books, the Erie League takes a break this week from conference play and shifts the focus to interleague matchups, a tradition started in 1999. Through four years, each conference has won 24 games.

The featured game of the week, based not only on the firepower of the teams but on the recent bad blood between the owners, pits Jamie Roush's (pictured left) undefeated Stonehenge club going against Bryan Vince's (pictured right) Psychedelic B's. Click here to see last year's trash-talking rivalry between Roush and Vince. The matchup got the "Smack Daddy" talking for the first time this season.

"I don't read the Sports Page for a couple of weeks and look what the hell happens," said Vince, whose team stands at 3-2, having won three straight. "We've got Pav playing Sir Mount-a-Lot on the physics majors girlfriend. (Click to see photo) We have two dudes, straight out of Deliverance, looking to add to the deer population. (Click to see photo) I mean, damn, where the hell is the picture of the crack whore smuggling a yo-yo in her pants?"

"You know, I was actually going to try and stay out of the smack game this year," Vince continued. "There have been rumors that the low head count at last year's party was due to ill feelings toward the 'smack daddy.' That was a creepy night. I'm not sure what was more disturbing - watching the Degenerates collect my money or just watching the Degenerate himself. Scary!!  But like usual, I really don't give a shit if any of you panty wearing, thin skinned, queer eye pussies think of me or what I have to say. So keep the wife and my kids away because the daddy is back.

"By the way, those other pictures aren't that bad compared to the picture of "dominatrix" Pav hanging from the love swing with his junk being squeezed by that Bermuda Triangle harness. (Click to see photo)  Christ, you don't need to give the Titlebound boys any new ideas."

Other marquee matchups include Jody Barth's Team Bud (4-1) renewing an old rivarly with Will Van Bibber's Jester X (1-4) Click here to see comments from the 2001 feud between Barth and Van Bibber.; Joe Nunney's Hard Attack (1-4) versus Jim Damicone's King Salmons (1-4), a matchup between one of the losingest owners in history (Nunney's career record is 40-76) and the only owner to lose every game in a single season (Damicone's King Salmons went 0-13 in 2000); and Don Jones' LTP squad (4-1) against Paul Tanski's Horn-Headed Degenrates (3-2) in a rematch of last year's Fantasy Bowl.

Titlebound Two (2-3) will square off with the Godfather (3-2), as Titlebound co-owner J.P. Dougherty (pictured left) continues to defend his trade with the Psychedelic B's from two weeks back when he sent QB Peyton Manning to the B's for WR Rod Gardner.

"My partner (Brett Harney), man is he a piece of work or what," Dougherty said. "This smack coming from the guy who shit his pants last year because Vince threatened him after Harney emailed Vince's wife. I hate to smack on my own partner, but Harney's got testicles the size of lemondrops! Also, what's with Team Butt Plug chiming in a week late? Did old Judy need a week to compose her thoughts, read everybody else's messages, then come up with the knockers to write a line or two? How fricken' weak is that? Hey Judy, next time don't waste everyone's time with your lame ass remarks!

"As for Storm, I have but one question," Dougherty added. "Who names themselves Storm?? I would say it's the kind of guy who plays Dungeons and Dragons on Friday nights and then spends Saturday nights violating himself while listening to Barry Manilow (pictured right) CD's and watching Saved By The Bell re-runs! (pictured above left)"

Top Week Five performers included: QB Steve McNair, who totaled 34.35 points for the Godfather but was left on the bench by the Dayton Penatrators, WR David Boston, who returned from his one game suspension to score 31.4 points for both LTP and Gridiron Gods, and WR Marvin Harrison, who netted 29.6 points as a starter for the Midnight Vigilantes and Deerslayers.

Just for your information, the web site allows you to make changes to your starters up until the kickoff of the 1 p.m. games. Your best bet is to submit a lineup early in the week and then to watch all the late breaking news to see if you need to make any changes. This software allows you to do it right up until the time the first games start. Therefore, always consider the last starting lineup you receive from an opponent to be the official one.

To get your own smack talk printed on The Sports Page, either send an e-mail to the commissioner (KPAVELICH@neo.rr.com) or you can do it yourself on the league's message board. Go to http://football5.myfantasyleague.com/2003/mb/board_show.pl?bid=200329111  , to talk some trash in this fashion.

INTERNATIONAL RANKINGS

Erie League vs. North Coast Fantasy Football League (NCFFL)

Note - The champions of these leagues will square off in Week 17 in Ultimate Bowl 3

CLICK HERE FOR BACK ISSUES OF THE SPORTS PAGE:

• Erie League set to kick off 14th season! (July 16, 2003)

• Football is back as Erie League kicks off 2003 (September 14, 2003)

• Roush continues to roll, trash talk minimal (September 28, 2003)

• Controversial trade, Donkey pictures, finally get smack started (October 5, 2003)

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