The Sports Page
Volume 11, Issue 10 The On-Line
Newsletter of the Erie Fantasy Football League
December 6, 2003
Several upsets in the 1st round
Eight teams still alive with the chance for an
Erie League title
|
 Midnight
Vigilantes (Kirk Pavelich), 11-2
Defeated Hard Attack, 112.25 to 63.00, in the
opening round.
The Vigilantes have now scored 1,314 points, an average of
101.1 per game. Pavelich's all-time record stands at 108-69 (.610),
including a 14-8 post-season mark. Vigilantes have now won five
straight and 11 of 12. Has qualified for the playoffs 10 straight years and
11 of 12 years overall. Captured division championships in '96, '97, '00,
'01 and '03. The Midnight Vigilantes were the 1995, 2000 and 2001 Fantasy
Bowl Champs. History: Vigilantes, 2-1 (No Limit Ballers, 95.55 to 94.05 in
Week Eight). |
No
Limit Ballers (Rob Davis), 6-7
Upset #2 seed Team Bud, 108.6 to 86.05, in
Round One. The Ballers have now scored 1000 points, an average of 77.0 per game. Davis' all-time record now stands at
11-17 (.393). First playoff appearance. Had backed into the playoffs by losing
final three games before last week's big victory. Ended the 1999 regular season with a mark of 3-9, before
catching fire in the consolation tournament and losing to the eventual
Toilet Bowl Champion Mad Zippers, 73-58. |
|
 Stonehenge
(Jamie Roush), 11-2
Defeated the Deerslayers, 85 to 47.1, in the
first round. Roush's club finished the regular season at 10-2 and
the top seed in the Browns Conference. Stonehenge has now scored 1,157
points, an average of 89.0 per game. His all-time record stands
at 25-16 (.608), including a 3-2 post-season mark. Went 2-2 over final four
games after starting the year 8-0. Has qualified for the playoffs in each of
his three seasons in the league. History: Cosmic Monsters, 2-0 (Did
not play in 2003). |
Cosmic
Monsters (Brad Rzyczycki), 7-6
Upset the #2 seeded Long Shots, 88.15 to
87.4, in the first round on WR Derrick Mason's late TD on Monday night. The
Monsters have scored 1,166 points (89.7 per
game). His all-time record is 77-70 (.524), including a 9-9
post-season mark. Has qualified for the playoffs in eight of ten Erie League
seasons. Had backed into the playoffs by losing three of final four games
before last week's big win.
Captured division championships in '98 and '02. The Cosmic Monsters were
Fantasy Bowl runners-up in 1994 and 1997. |
|
LTP
(Don Jones), 8-5
Edged the Dayton Penatrators, 95.35 to 90.35,
in the opening round. LTP has now scored 1,042 points (80.2 per
game). Jones' all-time record stands at 65-51 (.560), including a 10-4
post-season mark. Had backed into the playoffs by losing three of final four
games before righting the ship in round one. Has qualified for the playoffs
five times in eight years. Captured division championships in '99 and '01. LTP won the Fantasy
Bowl in 1997. Lost the Fantasy Bowl in 2002, 96-93 to the Horn-Headed
Degenerates. |
 Psychedelic
B's (Bryan Vince), 7-6
Knocked off #3 seed Hostile Omish, 137.7 to
116.8, in the opening round. The B's have now scored 1,101 points during, an average of 84.7
per game. Vince's all-time record stands at 70-55 (.560), including a
7-6 post-season mark. B's have now won three of their last four games. Has qualified for
the playoffs in eight of nine years. Captured division championships in '98,
'99, '01 and '02. The Psychedelic B's were the 1996 Fantasy Bowl Champs.
History: B's, 5-3 (LTP, 71.9-58.6 in Week 7) |
|
Gridiron
Gods (Jeff Gallagher), 8-5
Upset the Godfather in a first round
thriller, 127.2 to 123.35. Gridiron Gods have now scored 1,175 points, an average of
90.4 per game. Gallagher, an Erie League rookie, has now won five of six
down the stretch. A long-time member of the Great Lakes Power League,
Gallagher has also participated for the past seven years in Dave Bell's
Great Lakes Too League. History: Gridiron Gods, 1-0 (116 to 75.7 in
Week 5). |
 Bonecrushers
(Dave Bell), 8-5
Knocked the defending champion Horn-Headed
Degenerates from the playoffs, 89.05 to 65.2. The Bonecrushers have now
scored 1,063 points, an average of 81.8 per
game. Bell's all-time record stands at 107-99 (.519), including a 7-11
post-season mark. Has qualified for the playoffs in 11 of 14 years in the
league. Had lost last two regular season games before Week 13's big victory. Captured division championships in '94 and '95.
Best year was 1999 when he directed the Bonecrushers to their only Fantasy
Bowl appearance, dropping an 83-60 decision to the Polish Monarchs in
Fantasy Bowl 11. |
|
 |
|
Keith Kuratko - Guest Prognosticator |
What a good week I had last week. My team won to advance to the
semi-finals of the Best of the Worst tournament and I went 3-1 with my
picks. Just a quick recap. Game 1 I said to take the Vigilantes minus the 25.5
and they whooped up on Hard Attack 112.95 - 63. Game 2 I had Team Bud -15.9 and
boy was I wrong. No Limit Ballers killed Team Bud 108.6 - 86.05. Game 3 I said
Omish in a close one so take the B's plus the 20.3 points. B's win outright in a
shootout, 137.7 - 116.8. Game 4, I liked LTP plus the 6.2 points and they didn't
disappoint as the beat the Penistrators 95.35 - 90.35 in the closest game of the
week in the All-American Conference. Now on to the conference semi-finals.
#7 No Limit Ballers @ #1 Midnight Vigilantes (-24.2)
First of all, I never saw this one coming. I thought for sure that Team Bud
would be in the second round and not the Ballers. I was wrong and boy were they
impressive. Of course, who would have thought that Chambers was going to score 3
touchdowns on Thanksgiving Day against one of the best defenses in the league?
NO ONE. When your players score 7 touchdowns, you should win the game. Anyway, I
don't think the Ballers will be scoring more points this week, but it could all
even out and he could break the 100 point barrier with the return of Mike Vick
at QB. At running back, Dominick Davis will be starting and the other starting
RB will be either Bennett or Duckett. His WR of Chambers, Moss and Moulds are
definitely better than the Vigilantes receivers of Harrison, Smith and Smith -
kind of sounds like a law
firm. There is no edge at QB as the Ballers get a star player back making his
first start this year that could either get 40 pts. or 10 pts. and the
Vigilantes have 3 QBs to choose from. He made the right choice last week, can he
do it again? As for the RBs, I give the edge to the Vigilantes. They have Holmes
and Ahman Green, two of the best backs in football. Green had an off week last
week but should be able to get back to the double digits scored. This one is a
tough one as the Ballers won this meeting during the regular season 95.55-94.05
but the Vigilantes are averaging 101.1 points a game while the Ballers are
averaging 77 points a game. I am sticking with the Vigilantes to make it to the
conference championship but I would take the No Limit Ballers plus the 24.2 as
they keep it close.
#6 Psychedelic Bs (-4.6) @ #5 LTP
I really don't know what to make of this game. LTP won the regular season
meeting against the B's in Week 7 by a score of 71.90-58.60. This week's game
will definitely not be that low of a score as the two will shoot it out. The B's
are averaging 84.7 points a game while LTP is averaging 80.2 points a
game. Let's be honest, the Bs needed to have the perfect game last week and they
did to upset the Omish. This week, they don't need the perfect game but they are
going to need to score a lot of points as LTP will make it a game. This will be
an interesting week as the B's QB Manning is going into Tennessee this week and
LTP's Kitna is going to Baltimore to play. But, LTP does have Favre sitting on
the bench facing Chicago in Lambeau Field if he wanted a change at QB. As for RB,
with Faulk back to 100% and playing lights out, and Alexander to compliment him,
the B's definitely have the edge here, though if I were LTP I would probably
stick Candidate in the 2nd running back spot instead of Wheatley. Just better
matchups this week. As for WR, LTP - just stick Robinson back into the starting
lineup this week. Seattle is playing Minnesota. Can you say Shoot Out? And along
with Boston and Ward, I give a slight edge over the Bs WR of Toomer, Price, and
Smith or Northcutt. I saw that DJ was on the website whining that his team is
living on borrowed time and Vince has the greatest team since Lombardi and the
Packers back in the 60s. Let's be honest, sure it takes having good players to
put out there week in and week out but it also take a big chunk of luck to
win. So the question to LTP is, Do you feel lucky punk? Well do ya? I'll answer
for ya - no. Your luck will run out this week as the B's go on to beat LTP and
advance to the conference finals. Sorry DJ. But I do believe that it will be
close enough that I would take the 4.6 as the Bs will not cover.
So, those are my predictions. If they hold up this week, then there will be the
Psychedelic B's taking on a heavily favored Midnight Vigilantes in the
Conference Championship for the right to play in the Fantasy Bowl. So let the
games begin and good luck to everyone this weekend.
As for the toilet bowl, I am predicting that the third time will
be the charm against Capt. Tripps for my team the Atomic Punks and Donikers will
whip up on King Salmons. Then the Punks will play the Donikers in the Toilet
Bowl and Sam can say that he drafted the two best worst teams this year. Good
luck everyone.
QUOTES OF THE WEEK
"Winning your division $50.00
Making the playoffs and scoring the most points in the conference $100.00
Scoring 116 points and still getting a first round exit, PRICELESS!!!
Once my bitch, always my bitch." Posted
on the league message board by Psychedelic B's GM Bryan Vince after his first
round upset of conference scoring leader Hostile Omish.
"Screw you Bastard!"
Hostile Omish owner Mike Kuratko's response to Vince.
"I
could not have knocked off the league's highest scoring team and #3 seed without
the contribution of my best player and league's MVP....ROD GARDNER!!!"
More commentary from Vince, referring to the bogus
trade he pulled off early this season for QB Peyton Manning.
"There is absolutely NO WAY I can
beat the B's this week. Look at his lineup... he may be the favorite to win the
whole thing this year. His lineup is so good!!!! He could beat me with just his
running backs, and then he can use Manning just as an after-thought and they
play the hapless Titans on Defense. Browns could not stop Mentor High School
let alone Faulk... Monday night, International stage... could the Browns rise to
the challenge??? Yea right! And Toomer is so hot at this time... wow!!! Add
Price with Vick, if Vick isn't hurt early in the game.... It is all over for me
and I know it. The only thing that can beat me on this 'Given Sunday' is the
injury report.... Oh well, it has been a fun year and I am now living on
BORROWED TIME! Vinny I hope you go on after this week and win the whole
thing....Good Luck! ps. Where is Team Bud? Horse stalls, I do not
understand. Jody great year!!!”
LTP GM Don
Jones, starting early with the mind games, in a recent message
board post.
"You Buddha Loving, rock worshipping, same underwear wearing,
superstitious bastard. Don't even try playing that 'I'm going to lose' hex on
me. You probably have that same stick with the tape on it from our senior
season. I should kill you for doing this to me. I can see why you did it to the
Pinheads, but me, that is low. I hope I wipe your ass by 50!!!"
B's GM Vince's response to Jones.
"I will be back next
season and I am protecting Marc Bulger for ONE whole fucking unit. See you at
the draft! Rob, No Limit Ballers, I am not cleaning the horse stalls anymore!"
Team Bud GM Jody
Barth's parting shot at the league after losing in the first round to Rob Davis
and the No Limit Ballers.
"Unbelievable. You're
actually going to protect someone? I thought that was against franchise policy."
Midnight
Vigilantes owner Kirk Pavelich, referring to the fact that Team Bud GM Barth
threw both Deuce McAllister and Ricky Williams into the pool this year.
"Wow, that was one hell of
a statement. Maybe instead of having the draft next year, we should just mail
our checks to you. NOT!! You do sound like the Dayton Pinheads, wasn't this
supposed to be his year because he drafted his own players?? You clean Rob's
stalls? I've always wondered why their asses were shaved."
B's GM Vince's
response to Barth.
"Vince, why don't you join
me as I clean the horse stalls. That way I can beat you over the head with their
enormous PENISES."
Barth's response
to Vince.
"Holy shit, I'm not quite
sure how you respond to that except, at least then you'll get to hold an
'enormous' penis in your hand. It must be tough, after all these years, pissing
while sitting down. Do you wipe front to back or back to front?"
Vince's
response to Barth.
"Vince, Your boy Keith did
the same shit to me last week. 'I see Barth winning by 25' and Kirk knew that he
was unable to put the curse on me so he had Keith do it.Wait till Keith comes
out with his reviews this week. Someone will get the curse and they won't even
know it."
Barth's
commentary on Keith Kuratko's picks column.
"I can see it now - After
you posted the curse on the message board you and Tyler sat back and started
smoking a cigar. Thank you! For letting me know that I was going to win the
Championship last week, when I was hammered at happy hour, because I have the
most 'balanced team.' You started the curse on me right there at the bar and I
did not even know it. You took advantage of me while I was drunk. I feel like a
HO. Did you even say 'Thank You?'"
More from Barth,
this time toward LTP co-owners Don and Tyler Jones.
INTERNATIONAL RANKINGS
Erie League vs.
North Coast Fantasy Football League (NCFFL)
Note - The champions of these leagues will square off in
Week 17 in Ultimate Bowl 3
http://www.fflrankings.com/
CLICK HERE FOR BACK ISSUES OF THE SPORTS PAGE:
-
Erie League set to kick off
14th season! (July 16, 2003)
-
Football is back as Erie League kicks off 2003
(September 14, 2003)
-
Roush continues to roll, trash talk minimal
(September 28, 2003)
-
Controversial trade, Donkey pictures, finally get smack started (October 5,
2003)
-
All-American, Browns
Conference square off, series tied at 24 (October 12, 2003)
-
Despite conference best 6-1
mark, Vigilantes deal four players (October 26, 2003)
-
Hard Attack GM elected to
school board, blasted by fellow owners (November 16, 2003)
-
Several divisions clinched, others owners
scrambling to get in (November 22, 2003)
-
Field of 16 is set as Erie
Leaguers battle for Fantasy Title (November 25, 2003)
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